Importance of Popularity

Social acceptance plays a role in society and also Goth Culture. Coffee houses and nightclubs are essential in showing people that you have friends. Some argue real friendship is the only form of true friendship, yet what is friendship?

I would never say social climbing is good. There are several types of social climbing that are wrong and damage a person's reputation. I do not want to hangout with someone who is mean to me. I am prone to seek out and talk to people who look Goth, Scene or Goth Scene. It is a simple matter of fact. Being within the culture there is an array of people to meet.

Goths are social people. Seeing another Goth, it is somewhat normal to smile; take interest in their life; find out if there are similar acquaintances, and chat. Even working in several different offices there is a tendency to notice other Goths. In one office someone told me about someone's marriage. An acquaintance, I thought it was good they were engaged, yet declined an invitation to the wedding.

Remembering my days in secondary school, there was a band of Goths at a new school. It was nice being part of a group. I didn't have to go through endless days of feeling like an outcast. On the second day of school, I already belonged to a clique.

Being a friendly type of person, I met and talked to everyone. A Student wanted to become a Journalist. She seemed nice and had an excellent writing style. At that time I was super thin and she had a super thin friend. Unfortunately, we were both socially awkward. She made comments about hair and makeup, probably to sound intelligent and start a conversation. I felt as though she was judgmental and criticized my appearance.

There was another person, off clique, who was hostile while seeming to flirt with me. I will never know how the story ends. Do not act hostile towards women you are flirting with.

In any event, it is normal to socialize. There are markers for how well someone is doing socially. It seems like a purposeless event, yet I found it is actually purposeful.

It is good to know and be nice to people outside the clique. It is good to be friends and not be overly defensive about talking to people in a safe places like work or school.

I found myself around huge social climbers who knew the importance of doing all the things that people would want to do and none of the bad things in association. It is important to know about the popular Gothic coffee house. That means someone invited you. It is important to know where and when nightclubs are hosting Gothic events. If popular enough going out to nightclubs and house parties can become an entire lifestyle.

After noticing the benefits in high school, there were times when it was important to stay up days at a time. I had a friend that would help me. I would get home from college and they were waiting in my room. We had to go to a local band show, possibly a house party and then something else. I don't remember because sleep deprivation causes memory loss. It is a blur now; except, intensely remembering laying down for a minute. I repeatedly thought, "I have work, school or something else to go to in an hour or two. If I fall asleep now, I will never wake up in time."

I am not a Stripper. I am not invited because of relationships or sexual purposes, so why do all of that when I am applying for jobs like Data Processor? Being socially acceptable equals better opportunities. My new job as Senior Data Processor was easier to get, because people know people like me. I am likable and have social skills.

Any challenge there is we did it. Someone talks about how great the Salt Palace is and we buy tickets to the Salt Palace. Someone talks about driving across state lines, we drive across state lines. It wasn't until many years later that I realized these activities were not inhibiting my future or progress. It was also fun.

I had and have scruples. Scruples are a body of ethics described by Greek Philosophers. There is a point to were I would stop to evaluate if anyone got hurt. This includes me. I did not go to orgies or steal from people. I avoided making out with other people's boyfriends, but if they don't tell you there is nothing to do about it. I avoided drugs and invented methods to appear as though I used drugs so people would not ask me about drugs. Instead of getting mad about people asking me about doing drugs, I would just say, "I'm fine." They assumed it was because I was already on drugs.

Having a life is important. People might think I rest on the laurels of youth. It was exciting. I didn't figure out until college age that my teen years were similar to a Popular Cheerleader. I wasn't a Popular Cheerleader. I was an Emaciated Goth Kid. I had a boyfriend who was college age and actually went to college. Their Parents bought them a car. It was midnight blue. They were not an Athlete. They were going to college for a music degree. There are difference in evaluating "cool," yet it is about the same. It was fun and when everyone had permission to go out to nightclubs there were problems with jealousy and complications with seeing me as the target for becoming more popular.

Instead of completely walking away from social events, figure out values and what is important. Someone working and going to college with a similar lifestyle needs to know how to go home at a reasonable hour and sleep. There are probably several events to skip and still have a plethora of events to talk about with people. Most people are fine with invitations to the coffee house where people go to socialize. People want to socialize and go home early.

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