House parties are an active part of scene life. Scene Goths are not different. Going to parties and after parties, there is a social challenge affecting individual status.
As discussed in "Importance of Popularity," find friends at a coffee house to establish social presence. This activity begins with conversations and involvement in people's lives.
I remember, as a Teen, my Friend and I made a goal to go somewhere after the nightclub closed. It would be great to get an invitation to the after party. It was an all ages nightclub. Already knowing the Goths over eighteen are paranoid about drinking around Underage Teens, I was not overly excited about the challenge. It is still a good challenge for knowing people more intimately. We went to a truck stop with people we met and felt good about the venture.
Later on, with a greater social network, it became important to make friends. I usually had a Boyfriend or other Friends. Moving aggressively from going to nightclubs to going to house parties, there are some rules for maintaining respect.
Life is easier when you have a Significant Other who attends parties and goes to nightclubs. It is not always available. One night during a rave, someone invited me outside. I was surprised when they kissed me. My Significant Other did not like raves. We spoke, even if lying about them (which I was not), they knew it was only friendship and nothing more.
As a Respectable Goth, there is n awareness about what people are thinking. I can share a few disclosures and observable opinions.
Not having as many problems, I was genuinely meeting people I like or it was better than being at home. When dating someone, we left the party at an appropriate hour and treat each other in a logical mannerism. We left slightly after the party was over. When they moved to a friend's house, who threw a lot of parties, I stayed with my Boyfriend.
Insecurity makes people act strangely. If you barely know a person, you leave early to fain or have other plans besides that party. If you are Friends, it is polite to wait until most people leave and say goodnight. It is also nice to ask if they need help cleaning up and give each other a hug. If you are Best Friends, you hang out all night and potentially until the morning. I will discuss why later.
It is easy to become fixated on popularity or lack of popularity. A person might see Other People doing things. They want to be a part of Other People's inner circle of friends, instead of, respecting their inner circle of friend. This is inappropriate and sometimes dangerous as discussed in "Approaching the Opposite Gender." People assume this only applies to Women. That is not correct. Both Men and Women who act overly clingy is engaging in offensive behavior. Sometimes, you have to play the game to get anywhere.
To explain this, I will go over each stage of interaction during the wrap-up of a house party. Some say this is conniving. I say it is a logical override to avoid statements like, "I am waiting for a Friend to pick me up," or being overly competitive with a Close Friend. There are times when our personalities and personal issues override good judgment.
Going to a party with Friends or knowing Friends will be there, there is a reasonable time to leave. Some choose to not look desperate and make plans to have coffee or talk about life before going home. They leave early or around the regular time to leave an wrap up their party experience. Sometimes, someone is getting more attention from Strangers at the party. They make plans to leave later. It is nice and a sign of making social progress. Friends might be jealous or overprotective. It depends on who is available. Pick up Friends an hour or two later. Sometimes, you might have to suffer through an hour before exchanging phone numbers and leaving.
An hour or two later is when Friends say goodbye. Most everyone has left. There is time to talk privately with the Host or Hostess. It is an after party to verify a bond to each other. People want to seem as though they have this relationship or slowly to leave because it was a fun party. When people start to leave, it is a good time to leave. Friends or not, it shows respect to the Host and Hostess; instead of, keeping them awake all night.
Going past this time creates confusion, there are many reasons to stay even though it is late and the party is over. The most common reason is having a romantic interests in the Host or Hostess. Reasons to stay sound like excuses to create a relationship. Maybe, they are not interested in the Host or Hostess. They are interested in their Best Friend. It is unknown. Ergo, by staying, you are expressing a desire to maintain and further a relationship with these people.
This is not always true. Sometimes, a person is too drunk to drive or competing with a Friend. Unprepared to drive home or call a cab, this "too drunk" statement sounds like an excuse. People notice who they are talking to.
Sometimes we want to be even more socially acceptable by staying longer. We will be there even longer than the Other People to demonstrate likability. This plan is strange and has consequences. You should talk to a Romantic Interest and leave with them. If trying to undercut a Friend, you might end up leaving without a ride home or being excessively intimate with the Host or Hostess. It was more than planned. It does not sound good saying something that paraphrases, "I was using you."
These are the reasons why Best Friends stay until dawn. There are people in the house who are looking for a new living arrangement or wanting a long term relationship. They view the Home Owner as an acceptable person. The Home Owner does not have mutual feelings. It is uncomfortable asking someone too leave; ergo, you let Drunks sleep on the coach and have friends to help avoid potentially awkward situations.
Think about this information as though hosting the party, it creates better outcomes. If only wanting to establish a better relationship with Previously Strangers, I suggest leaving when the party is ending and after most people leave.
This is a time to say there is interest and I like you. It does not extent into the time of desperation and weird behavior with a Party Goer or Potential Friend. Even if feeling desperate and wanting more, it is probably better to have dignity.
I have a home. I already have Friends. I am not the kind of person who resorts to tactics, even though I do. Most of this stuff is easy to assess. People talk about it. Listening is a great social skill, parties require many social skills.
Related Article
Approaching the Opposite Gender
Importance of Popularity
Showing posts with label gothic culture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gothic culture. Show all posts
Monday, August 4, 2014
Sunday, April 6, 2014
Overall Goth Rant
There is a misconception about Goth Culture. It is commonly believed that Goths have nothing to do except wear attractive black outfits and spend time with friends. There is actually a greater life behind the black eyeliner and red lipstick.
With a lot of fun things to do, there are only a few people who are daring enough to spend life finding local nightclubs and spending a great amount of time going to events or watching television at a friend's house. Though I am a person who knows about local nightclubs and going to new nightclubs, it became difficult to focus on school and work as a Teen. Later in college, even as an Adult, people think I should be random about friendships and have elaborate weekend plans.
Beyond the physical reality of needing education and ability to live a functional life, there are multiple Goth Archetypes. There is the Scene Kid, Philosopher, Quiet Devout and Recluse. In life, it seems as though everyone wants to talk to Scene Kids. Which is fine. I actually do know about several nightclubs. The music they play and the regular crowd. It was fun to go to strange nightclubs. It is nice talking to people at school or work to get recommendations.
There is more to life. In reality, I was probably more of a Quiet Devout who got swept into the false expectations of other people. Now, I am a Recluse. I still know how to find fun parties and about funner events like Rocky Horror Picture or Priscilla Queen of the Desert.
This is not actually important to survival. When not going to places, it was important to study, exercise and work. I remember people wanting to get coffee at the coffee shop. Each friend wanted to talk separately. It might have be more intimate. I did not want to date them. It was kind of creepy, because I wanted everyone to meet each other for a couple hours. They could meet each other. It would be like a party. Then, I would have time to study. They did not want to do that, so it was like a slow hemorrhage of time. Eventually, I had to just declare it was study time and ignore anyone who called.
I realize, or at least think, they are not really Goths. To them I am like a toy that disappears into a box. I do not need motivation, aspirations, food or money. I do not need a home, retirement or a romantic relationship. They were not likely to help me with anything.
Clearly an awful situation, I just went to school and work whenever possible. They might have been Goths, yet suffer from similar treatment. There is also a chance they were lonely most-of-the-time and our schedules did not blend.
Becoming more Recluse, I do not wander around in all black, all day. There is more suspicion about whether or not someone is, "really a Gothic." I remember going to a coffee house and "my friend" mentioned Goths smell like sandalwood or clove. The comment made them seem smelly. The more disrespectful everyone becomes of each other causes division on Goth Culture.
In Salt Lake County, there were five different Goth Groups. They did not like each other and all of them fought for superiority. That was before finishing my first degree at the Community College. Leaving and returning after several years, there are seven, eight, maybe nine Goth Groups.
Each one believes, they are the best and most Goth. Facts are, Goth really only means one thing. Yet, it is like the same thing so no one really listens. It is not about religion. No one cares if you are Christian or Atheist. You are not more Goth because you practice magic. You are not more Goth for knowing magic is fake. Playing video games or watching movies is nice. People would like more definition about what Goth is or is not.
Personally, I am not happy with people who confuse Metal and Goth music. Several Goths enjoy Metal; however, Metal is not Goth. This is the same with several brands of music. Sometimes another genre is appealing to. Goths. Goths might like them more than people normally enjoy their genre. It would be nice to know why. This does not really change the overall spirit of regular life.
Sometimes, I feel bad for Metal Heads. They thought Goths were into a different type of Metal. Not really, there is a Metal Band that is appealing to Goths. People start fighting. A person could waste and entire life in the wrong subgroup. I have noticed more Goth music labeled as Alternative Rock in past years. Goth music is easily summarized as "Post Punk." It sounds like Punk, yet American Blues was revisited for a more accurate portrayal of the music. It has similarities to Contemporary Music. Currently, it has similarities to Popular Music.
I have been a Goth for year and still look Goth even when not wearing black. I like dramatic usage of color with black or stoic black with white. It is all fun. If you never thought that was fun, it is fine.
It is difficult establishing Goth Culture. It is as though Goths are likely to accuse each other of doing something wrong. The Non-Goth people who always harassed them, harassed them again.
The name used to describe the essence of Goth Culture and Music changed a minimum of twenty times in the past fifty years. Goths are sensitive and frequently feeling people. Consensus on what is or is not appropriate is a challenge. No one really wants a Leader to lead. It might appear as though Goths are crazy. However, Goths are people, not objects.
Related Article
Forgive verses Strict
With a lot of fun things to do, there are only a few people who are daring enough to spend life finding local nightclubs and spending a great amount of time going to events or watching television at a friend's house. Though I am a person who knows about local nightclubs and going to new nightclubs, it became difficult to focus on school and work as a Teen. Later in college, even as an Adult, people think I should be random about friendships and have elaborate weekend plans.
Beyond the physical reality of needing education and ability to live a functional life, there are multiple Goth Archetypes. There is the Scene Kid, Philosopher, Quiet Devout and Recluse. In life, it seems as though everyone wants to talk to Scene Kids. Which is fine. I actually do know about several nightclubs. The music they play and the regular crowd. It was fun to go to strange nightclubs. It is nice talking to people at school or work to get recommendations.
There is more to life. In reality, I was probably more of a Quiet Devout who got swept into the false expectations of other people. Now, I am a Recluse. I still know how to find fun parties and about funner events like Rocky Horror Picture or Priscilla Queen of the Desert.
This is not actually important to survival. When not going to places, it was important to study, exercise and work. I remember people wanting to get coffee at the coffee shop. Each friend wanted to talk separately. It might have be more intimate. I did not want to date them. It was kind of creepy, because I wanted everyone to meet each other for a couple hours. They could meet each other. It would be like a party. Then, I would have time to study. They did not want to do that, so it was like a slow hemorrhage of time. Eventually, I had to just declare it was study time and ignore anyone who called.
I realize, or at least think, they are not really Goths. To them I am like a toy that disappears into a box. I do not need motivation, aspirations, food or money. I do not need a home, retirement or a romantic relationship. They were not likely to help me with anything.
Clearly an awful situation, I just went to school and work whenever possible. They might have been Goths, yet suffer from similar treatment. There is also a chance they were lonely most-of-the-time and our schedules did not blend.
Becoming more Recluse, I do not wander around in all black, all day. There is more suspicion about whether or not someone is, "really a Gothic." I remember going to a coffee house and "my friend" mentioned Goths smell like sandalwood or clove. The comment made them seem smelly. The more disrespectful everyone becomes of each other causes division on Goth Culture.
In Salt Lake County, there were five different Goth Groups. They did not like each other and all of them fought for superiority. That was before finishing my first degree at the Community College. Leaving and returning after several years, there are seven, eight, maybe nine Goth Groups.
Each one believes, they are the best and most Goth. Facts are, Goth really only means one thing. Yet, it is like the same thing so no one really listens. It is not about religion. No one cares if you are Christian or Atheist. You are not more Goth because you practice magic. You are not more Goth for knowing magic is fake. Playing video games or watching movies is nice. People would like more definition about what Goth is or is not.
Personally, I am not happy with people who confuse Metal and Goth music. Several Goths enjoy Metal; however, Metal is not Goth. This is the same with several brands of music. Sometimes another genre is appealing to. Goths. Goths might like them more than people normally enjoy their genre. It would be nice to know why. This does not really change the overall spirit of regular life.
Sometimes, I feel bad for Metal Heads. They thought Goths were into a different type of Metal. Not really, there is a Metal Band that is appealing to Goths. People start fighting. A person could waste and entire life in the wrong subgroup. I have noticed more Goth music labeled as Alternative Rock in past years. Goth music is easily summarized as "Post Punk." It sounds like Punk, yet American Blues was revisited for a more accurate portrayal of the music. It has similarities to Contemporary Music. Currently, it has similarities to Popular Music.
I have been a Goth for year and still look Goth even when not wearing black. I like dramatic usage of color with black or stoic black with white. It is all fun. If you never thought that was fun, it is fine.
It is difficult establishing Goth Culture. It is as though Goths are likely to accuse each other of doing something wrong. The Non-Goth people who always harassed them, harassed them again.
The name used to describe the essence of Goth Culture and Music changed a minimum of twenty times in the past fifty years. Goths are sensitive and frequently feeling people. Consensus on what is or is not appropriate is a challenge. No one really wants a Leader to lead. It might appear as though Goths are crazy. However, Goths are people, not objects.
Related Article
Forgive verses Strict
Thursday, March 7, 2013
Importance of Popularity
Social acceptance plays a role in society and also Goth Culture. Coffee houses and nightclubs are essential in showing people that you have friends. Some argue real friendship is the only form of true friendship, yet what is friendship?
I would never say social climbing is good. There are several types of social climbing that are wrong and damage a person's reputation. I do not want to hangout with someone who is mean to me. I am prone to seek out and talk to people who look Goth, Scene or Goth Scene. It is a simple matter of fact. Being within the culture there is an array of people to meet.
Goths are social people. Seeing another Goth, it is somewhat normal to smile; take interest in their life; find out if there are similar acquaintances, and chat. Even working in several different offices there is a tendency to notice other Goths. In one office someone told me about someone's marriage. An acquaintance, I thought it was good they were engaged, yet declined an invitation to the wedding.
Remembering my days in secondary school, there was a band of Goths at a new school. It was nice being part of a group. I didn't have to go through endless days of feeling like an outcast. On the second day of school, I already belonged to a clique.
Being a friendly type of person, I met and talked to everyone. A Student wanted to become a Journalist. She seemed nice and had an excellent writing style. At that time I was super thin and she had a super thin friend. Unfortunately, we were both socially awkward. She made comments about hair and makeup, probably to sound intelligent and start a conversation. I felt as though she was judgmental and criticized my appearance.
There was another person, off clique, who was hostile while seeming to flirt with me. I will never know how the story ends. Do not act hostile towards women you are flirting with.
In any event, it is normal to socialize. There are markers for how well someone is doing socially. It seems like a purposeless event, yet I found it is actually purposeful.
It is good to know and be nice to people outside the clique. It is good to be friends and not be overly defensive about talking to people in a safe places like work or school.
I found myself around huge social climbers who knew the importance of doing all the things that people would want to do and none of the bad things in association. It is important to know about the popular Gothic coffee house. That means someone invited you. It is important to know where and when nightclubs are hosting Gothic events. If popular enough going out to nightclubs and house parties can become an entire lifestyle.
After noticing the benefits in high school, there were times when it was important to stay up days at a time. I had a friend that would help me. I would get home from college and they were waiting in my room. We had to go to a local band show, possibly a house party and then something else. I don't remember because sleep deprivation causes memory loss. It is a blur now; except, intensely remembering laying down for a minute. I repeatedly thought, "I have work, school or something else to go to in an hour or two. If I fall asleep now, I will never wake up in time."
I am not a Stripper. I am not invited because of relationships or sexual purposes, so why do all of that when I am applying for jobs like Data Processor? Being socially acceptable equals better opportunities. My new job as Senior Data Processor was easier to get, because people know people like me. I am likable and have social skills.
Any challenge there is we did it. Someone talks about how great the Salt Palace is and we buy tickets to the Salt Palace. Someone talks about driving across state lines, we drive across state lines. It wasn't until many years later that I realized these activities were not inhibiting my future or progress. It was also fun.
I had and have scruples. Scruples are a body of ethics described by Greek Philosophers. There is a point to were I would stop to evaluate if anyone got hurt. This includes me. I did not go to orgies or steal from people. I avoided making out with other people's boyfriends, but if they don't tell you there is nothing to do about it. I avoided drugs and invented methods to appear as though I used drugs so people would not ask me about drugs. Instead of getting mad about people asking me about doing drugs, I would just say, "I'm fine." They assumed it was because I was already on drugs.
Having a life is important. People might think I rest on the laurels of youth. It was exciting. I didn't figure out until college age that my teen years were similar to a Popular Cheerleader. I wasn't a Popular Cheerleader. I was an Emaciated Goth Kid. I had a boyfriend who was college age and actually went to college. Their Parents bought them a car. It was midnight blue. They were not an Athlete. They were going to college for a music degree. There are difference in evaluating "cool," yet it is about the same. It was fun and when everyone had permission to go out to nightclubs there were problems with jealousy and complications with seeing me as the target for becoming more popular.
Instead of completely walking away from social events, figure out values and what is important. Someone working and going to college with a similar lifestyle needs to know how to go home at a reasonable hour and sleep. There are probably several events to skip and still have a plethora of events to talk about with people. Most people are fine with invitations to the coffee house where people go to socialize. People want to socialize and go home early.
Related Article
Extreme Tendencies Goths
House Party Wrap Up
Propriety and Virtue
I would never say social climbing is good. There are several types of social climbing that are wrong and damage a person's reputation. I do not want to hangout with someone who is mean to me. I am prone to seek out and talk to people who look Goth, Scene or Goth Scene. It is a simple matter of fact. Being within the culture there is an array of people to meet.
Goths are social people. Seeing another Goth, it is somewhat normal to smile; take interest in their life; find out if there are similar acquaintances, and chat. Even working in several different offices there is a tendency to notice other Goths. In one office someone told me about someone's marriage. An acquaintance, I thought it was good they were engaged, yet declined an invitation to the wedding.
Remembering my days in secondary school, there was a band of Goths at a new school. It was nice being part of a group. I didn't have to go through endless days of feeling like an outcast. On the second day of school, I already belonged to a clique.
Being a friendly type of person, I met and talked to everyone. A Student wanted to become a Journalist. She seemed nice and had an excellent writing style. At that time I was super thin and she had a super thin friend. Unfortunately, we were both socially awkward. She made comments about hair and makeup, probably to sound intelligent and start a conversation. I felt as though she was judgmental and criticized my appearance.
There was another person, off clique, who was hostile while seeming to flirt with me. I will never know how the story ends. Do not act hostile towards women you are flirting with.
In any event, it is normal to socialize. There are markers for how well someone is doing socially. It seems like a purposeless event, yet I found it is actually purposeful.
It is good to know and be nice to people outside the clique. It is good to be friends and not be overly defensive about talking to people in a safe places like work or school.
I found myself around huge social climbers who knew the importance of doing all the things that people would want to do and none of the bad things in association. It is important to know about the popular Gothic coffee house. That means someone invited you. It is important to know where and when nightclubs are hosting Gothic events. If popular enough going out to nightclubs and house parties can become an entire lifestyle.
After noticing the benefits in high school, there were times when it was important to stay up days at a time. I had a friend that would help me. I would get home from college and they were waiting in my room. We had to go to a local band show, possibly a house party and then something else. I don't remember because sleep deprivation causes memory loss. It is a blur now; except, intensely remembering laying down for a minute. I repeatedly thought, "I have work, school or something else to go to in an hour or two. If I fall asleep now, I will never wake up in time."
I am not a Stripper. I am not invited because of relationships or sexual purposes, so why do all of that when I am applying for jobs like Data Processor? Being socially acceptable equals better opportunities. My new job as Senior Data Processor was easier to get, because people know people like me. I am likable and have social skills.
Any challenge there is we did it. Someone talks about how great the Salt Palace is and we buy tickets to the Salt Palace. Someone talks about driving across state lines, we drive across state lines. It wasn't until many years later that I realized these activities were not inhibiting my future or progress. It was also fun.
I had and have scruples. Scruples are a body of ethics described by Greek Philosophers. There is a point to were I would stop to evaluate if anyone got hurt. This includes me. I did not go to orgies or steal from people. I avoided making out with other people's boyfriends, but if they don't tell you there is nothing to do about it. I avoided drugs and invented methods to appear as though I used drugs so people would not ask me about drugs. Instead of getting mad about people asking me about doing drugs, I would just say, "I'm fine." They assumed it was because I was already on drugs.
Having a life is important. People might think I rest on the laurels of youth. It was exciting. I didn't figure out until college age that my teen years were similar to a Popular Cheerleader. I wasn't a Popular Cheerleader. I was an Emaciated Goth Kid. I had a boyfriend who was college age and actually went to college. Their Parents bought them a car. It was midnight blue. They were not an Athlete. They were going to college for a music degree. There are difference in evaluating "cool," yet it is about the same. It was fun and when everyone had permission to go out to nightclubs there were problems with jealousy and complications with seeing me as the target for becoming more popular.
Instead of completely walking away from social events, figure out values and what is important. Someone working and going to college with a similar lifestyle needs to know how to go home at a reasonable hour and sleep. There are probably several events to skip and still have a plethora of events to talk about with people. Most people are fine with invitations to the coffee house where people go to socialize. People want to socialize and go home early.
Related Article
Extreme Tendencies Goths
House Party Wrap Up
Propriety and Virtue
Monday, February 25, 2013
Love of Pain
The appreciation of skinny, morbid, morose and lonely images is more than an appreciation of lines and technique in Goth Culture. There are unprovable claims of most Goths having some kind of disease or disorder that inflicts pain, yet it is probably because most Goths avoid doctors, unless necessary; ergo, the sample population for these studies are either criminals or clinically ill. However, there is a frequency to prefer and find depressing photos beautiful. This is also true in fine art.
Why do I think Goths are attracted to these images? After experiencing so many highs in life there is an automatic need to experience lows or maintain the higher points there is a deficit or opposing reaction to handle really enjoying life.
Relating to this principal, it does not take a long time to learn new skills and become efficient. It is easy to go from job to job and most people say, "I have promise." Despite what people might think about how I should behave, I am able to focus on tasks and gain underlying meaning behind most tasks. It might take awhile to really learn a job, yet most likely quit and go on to do something else before knowing every possible facet.
I have tried to focus on the details to maintain concentration, yet it seems I move on. It was important to figure out why I quits jobs; otherwise, my future is sealed. It isn't an optimistic vision of my own future. After years, it appears I subconsciously train my replacement. While working and doing things it is common to find someone to handle my basic functions after leaving, because the subconscious ideal is, "I will be leaving." It isn't until actually finding a method to actually stay with a job that it becomes important to not share every asset and technique to replace myself.
Usually I would have tons of information of how to work as a blogger/writer/artist on the internet, yet I am finally coming back into balance and do not want someone else to replace me; ergo, I am an excellent Trainer, yet only offer training in exchange for something that helps me stay in business. The previous imbalance is becoming balanced.
I don't need to explain the details of the personal truths behind this odd behavior, yet most Goths experience personal tragedy. The flip side to this problem is constantly dealing with grief. At least I was self aware enough to know it is frequently me causing this problem. Deciding to take responsibility for myself and not blame friends or family for this dysfunction assists in avoiding potentially hostile action after seeming to play head games with people. Realistically, when someone is out-of-control the best answer is to show sympathy. I show a lot of sympathy to re-balance these issues.
Regardless, there is a lot of grief. Grief for past friends, acknowledging even if seeing them again so many years have passed they are another new person. Feeling a lack of history, I wonder if making commitments is a good idea. They might feel good about it, but they cannot control me. No one can control me. No one knows me as well as I do. No one else was their through the greater expanse of my overall life.
It is awkward. Magical and depressing images encompass an outward image that seems familiar and comforting. I don't resent my life. It is great being able to do a lot of things and life is great. There were many good experiences and somewhere along the line, emotional pain becomes enjoyable.
Do I seek out pain? Not really. I am not really trying to find pain or suffer. After so many times laying around in a comfortable warm bed, realizing what bothers me or hurt my self esteem is like removing a thorn. Thorns no longer look scary. The curving shape of thorns into a point are appealing.
Do I feel inhuman? Not really. I feel alive and found a method to refocus my blights into something beneficial to society.
Do I feel like a super hero? Not really. Everything is in balance. One aspect of life is resolved by another. There are reasons to feel as though it is an unproductive lifestyle as much as a productive lifestyle. Whether trying to resolve self destructive behavior before dying or developing self destructive behavior to do more and be more glorious are heavily intertwined. There is no obvious method to separate where one begins and the other ends.
There is a reflective quality to pain. Images of advance physiology and torture do evoke a desire to inflict or feel torture, yet it oddly portrays a feeling of being understood. Lyrics of treachery and anger also inspire a feeling of not being, "so different." I dislike anyone, including villains, being portrayed negatively in the media. Usually explanation of how the character became evil is a personal stab at me. I am not a villain. I am an optimistic person who enjoys helping people. I have always thought about the other person and want respect.
With extreme highs, there are extreme lows. Everyone relates and understands, to some degree. Goths relate more heavily. The other day I was thinking about problems of my teen years and accessing if it was awful. Always wanting to prove something and make tons of friends, quite frankly, I am creepy. Without a greater purpose to life, I would just be creepy and average.
Related Article
Emotional Recovery
Extreme Goth
Extreme Tendencies of Goths
Personal Story of Sabotage
Winter Thaw
Why do I think Goths are attracted to these images? After experiencing so many highs in life there is an automatic need to experience lows or maintain the higher points there is a deficit or opposing reaction to handle really enjoying life.
Relating to this principal, it does not take a long time to learn new skills and become efficient. It is easy to go from job to job and most people say, "I have promise." Despite what people might think about how I should behave, I am able to focus on tasks and gain underlying meaning behind most tasks. It might take awhile to really learn a job, yet most likely quit and go on to do something else before knowing every possible facet.
I have tried to focus on the details to maintain concentration, yet it seems I move on. It was important to figure out why I quits jobs; otherwise, my future is sealed. It isn't an optimistic vision of my own future. After years, it appears I subconsciously train my replacement. While working and doing things it is common to find someone to handle my basic functions after leaving, because the subconscious ideal is, "I will be leaving." It isn't until actually finding a method to actually stay with a job that it becomes important to not share every asset and technique to replace myself.
Usually I would have tons of information of how to work as a blogger/writer/artist on the internet, yet I am finally coming back into balance and do not want someone else to replace me; ergo, I am an excellent Trainer, yet only offer training in exchange for something that helps me stay in business. The previous imbalance is becoming balanced.
I don't need to explain the details of the personal truths behind this odd behavior, yet most Goths experience personal tragedy. The flip side to this problem is constantly dealing with grief. At least I was self aware enough to know it is frequently me causing this problem. Deciding to take responsibility for myself and not blame friends or family for this dysfunction assists in avoiding potentially hostile action after seeming to play head games with people. Realistically, when someone is out-of-control the best answer is to show sympathy. I show a lot of sympathy to re-balance these issues.
Regardless, there is a lot of grief. Grief for past friends, acknowledging even if seeing them again so many years have passed they are another new person. Feeling a lack of history, I wonder if making commitments is a good idea. They might feel good about it, but they cannot control me. No one can control me. No one knows me as well as I do. No one else was their through the greater expanse of my overall life.
It is awkward. Magical and depressing images encompass an outward image that seems familiar and comforting. I don't resent my life. It is great being able to do a lot of things and life is great. There were many good experiences and somewhere along the line, emotional pain becomes enjoyable.
Do I seek out pain? Not really. I am not really trying to find pain or suffer. After so many times laying around in a comfortable warm bed, realizing what bothers me or hurt my self esteem is like removing a thorn. Thorns no longer look scary. The curving shape of thorns into a point are appealing.
Do I feel inhuman? Not really. I feel alive and found a method to refocus my blights into something beneficial to society.
Do I feel like a super hero? Not really. Everything is in balance. One aspect of life is resolved by another. There are reasons to feel as though it is an unproductive lifestyle as much as a productive lifestyle. Whether trying to resolve self destructive behavior before dying or developing self destructive behavior to do more and be more glorious are heavily intertwined. There is no obvious method to separate where one begins and the other ends.
There is a reflective quality to pain. Images of advance physiology and torture do evoke a desire to inflict or feel torture, yet it oddly portrays a feeling of being understood. Lyrics of treachery and anger also inspire a feeling of not being, "so different." I dislike anyone, including villains, being portrayed negatively in the media. Usually explanation of how the character became evil is a personal stab at me. I am not a villain. I am an optimistic person who enjoys helping people. I have always thought about the other person and want respect.
With extreme highs, there are extreme lows. Everyone relates and understands, to some degree. Goths relate more heavily. The other day I was thinking about problems of my teen years and accessing if it was awful. Always wanting to prove something and make tons of friends, quite frankly, I am creepy. Without a greater purpose to life, I would just be creepy and average.
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Extreme Tendencies of Goths
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Winter Thaw
Friday, February 15, 2013
Extreme Tendencies of Goths
Discussing "Extreme Goths" in a past blog, this blog contains extensive insights on this tendencies of Goths. Yes, Goths tend to appreciate extremes in their life, yet this extreme might only be in two or three arenas in their life. Personally, I experience extremes in the social arena. As a child, I hung out with a handful of people. As a teen and young adult, I hung out with large groups of people. As an adult, I have virtually no social life and enjoy being a homebody fulfilling the role of dispensing information to everyone who might benefit from my past experiences.
I am not the only person with this dramatic fluctuation in more than one part of my life. I have known people who call it "the Life of Riley." Abundance of everything for awhile and then nothing. Everything you would want money, friends and dominating social presence is followed by poverty, enemies and ostracism. This rebounds into any previously unknown direction that may or may not be in the same arenas of life.
In any instance, there are several Middle Class, Working Class Gentlemen and Ladies who have found peacefulness in the middle ground to cope with the over-encompassing excitement of being so out-of-balance in other aspects of life. I have respectfully good relationships with my family. I have ignored them on occasion, yet I respect my parents and have common stories everyone relates too. My Father is stoic. We talk about the weather and when he needs to tell me to do or stop doing something. My Mom and I talk about everything. She tells me about her life when she was young and I feel more comfortable talking to her. I know my Cousins and have a Cousin who might mess with my hair during a slight disagreement. We might rough house similarly as we did as children and then stand there in front of the rest of the family's disapproving gazes.
This compensates floating through life in aspects of career and friends. I don't really have close friends I would feel comfortable calling up and seeing how they are doing. I met several people years ago. Now it is awkward having known of them so many years, yet never sitting down and talking about general life and philosophies of life. Now it would be difficult for anyone to imagine me going to dance clubs, house parties or mingling with smaller groups of friends every day of the week.
Do I regret any experiences? No. I had close friends. I knew the extensively and spent most of my time chatting about everything. There were confessions of failings and realizing they are a different person than I thought. This is also true of them to me. Now I purposely keep people at an arms length while performing my static activity of dispensing advice to a larger audience with a friendly demeanor to let people know I care, yet feel an appropriate amount of distance or professionalism is worthwhile.
When can you tell someone is Goth rather than the Average Schmo? It might be difficult, yet there is an emanation of being a one-dimensional character, as opposed to a real person. I have known people who are attached to the appearance of Goth. Working at their normal corporate job as a Supervisor or Accountant, because of degrees and qualifications, they tend to wear full makeup and enjoy people looking at them oddly. Extreme exhibitionist characteristics are part of daily life.
Anther person might enjoy construction, assembly or farming. Conforming to clothing requirements they are not just a Construction, Assembly Laborer or Farmhand. They are everything you would expect this person to be. You would expect a Construction Worker to spend most time commenting on people's appearance. You would expect an Assembly Worker to frequent pubs. You would expect a Farmhand to exhibits an appreciation of agriculture with additional displays of enjoying farm life. It isn't so much they are doing these things. It is odd to how much of a stereotype they appear to be. Enjoying their occupation seems to encompass their daily life. Even the Corporate Goth who attempts to fight against the great levels of mediocrity is a greater stereotype of Corporate Employees.
The major sections of life, include: spirituality, fitness, career, friendship, social life, entertainment and education. Most people, not only Goths, agree a person should spend some time each week on one of these major sections of life with a personal activity.
There are also minor section of life in relation to each of the major sections of life. For example, a Gamer might limit their entertainment to gaming. A Regular Gamer plays one type of game on a regular basis for awhile. A Goth Gamer would seek higher echelons of gaming. They might obsess over Top Gamers, attempt to become a Professional Gamer, play every new game on the market or play multiple games in one category. I am a Regular Gamer. I play one game for a long time and then stop until finding another game. I want to have time for other parts of life, though attempting to compile all aspects of my life into one activity to serve all major sections of life.
It might be difficult to notice if someone is Gothic by looking at them. They might seem laid back or not even "look Gothic." The only oddity is being overly neat and clean. They might be overly stereotypical in their personal appearance. As you get to know them, they seem to be living a persona, yet it isn't a persona. It is their real life.
Exceptions to this engrossment in interests include Goths who have other interests or occupations that require a definite Goth Look. Some interests include gaming or writing. Some occupations include Business Owner, Disc Jockey or Stylist; wherein, their other job is part-time or on the weekends.
Usually it is easy to identify the Goth. They still wear more black than usual, yet this is not always true. There is also a tendency to stand out because their style does not conform to modern standards. Instead it is a reflection of deep interests and studies in relation to reading books and watching movies. Ergo, they exhibit older, international or both styles in appearance and home decorations. In fact this scenario is so common amongst Goths a Goth could be accused of, "... trying too hard," if not incorporating other aspects of life into their appearance without justifiable reasons.
All this information excludes people who make the stereotype happen. There are people in every avenue of life who embrace the stereotype and group identity with clothing and political statements. They usually defend their lifestyle whether Punk, Raver, Country and so-on. A Goth might wear the apparel, yet it is different and they do not conform to the group. Instead, there might be a tendency to wonder if they are really for real.
If you are listless, wondering why no one else seems to think you are Goth, though thinking you are Goth start becoming defensive about rude comments and overdoing whatever people complain about. Be overly suspicious of the people around you. Try turning your interests into an occupation. Maybe it is time to feel there is something missing in your life and take action to spiral out-of-control in the opposite direction. These are my theories of why there is a sense of community amongst so many people who do not really know each other.
Related Article
Extreme Goth
Importance of Popularity
Love of Pain
Winter Thaw
I am not the only person with this dramatic fluctuation in more than one part of my life. I have known people who call it "the Life of Riley." Abundance of everything for awhile and then nothing. Everything you would want money, friends and dominating social presence is followed by poverty, enemies and ostracism. This rebounds into any previously unknown direction that may or may not be in the same arenas of life.
In any instance, there are several Middle Class, Working Class Gentlemen and Ladies who have found peacefulness in the middle ground to cope with the over-encompassing excitement of being so out-of-balance in other aspects of life. I have respectfully good relationships with my family. I have ignored them on occasion, yet I respect my parents and have common stories everyone relates too. My Father is stoic. We talk about the weather and when he needs to tell me to do or stop doing something. My Mom and I talk about everything. She tells me about her life when she was young and I feel more comfortable talking to her. I know my Cousins and have a Cousin who might mess with my hair during a slight disagreement. We might rough house similarly as we did as children and then stand there in front of the rest of the family's disapproving gazes.
This compensates floating through life in aspects of career and friends. I don't really have close friends I would feel comfortable calling up and seeing how they are doing. I met several people years ago. Now it is awkward having known of them so many years, yet never sitting down and talking about general life and philosophies of life. Now it would be difficult for anyone to imagine me going to dance clubs, house parties or mingling with smaller groups of friends every day of the week.
Do I regret any experiences? No. I had close friends. I knew the extensively and spent most of my time chatting about everything. There were confessions of failings and realizing they are a different person than I thought. This is also true of them to me. Now I purposely keep people at an arms length while performing my static activity of dispensing advice to a larger audience with a friendly demeanor to let people know I care, yet feel an appropriate amount of distance or professionalism is worthwhile.
When can you tell someone is Goth rather than the Average Schmo? It might be difficult, yet there is an emanation of being a one-dimensional character, as opposed to a real person. I have known people who are attached to the appearance of Goth. Working at their normal corporate job as a Supervisor or Accountant, because of degrees and qualifications, they tend to wear full makeup and enjoy people looking at them oddly. Extreme exhibitionist characteristics are part of daily life.
Anther person might enjoy construction, assembly or farming. Conforming to clothing requirements they are not just a Construction, Assembly Laborer or Farmhand. They are everything you would expect this person to be. You would expect a Construction Worker to spend most time commenting on people's appearance. You would expect an Assembly Worker to frequent pubs. You would expect a Farmhand to exhibits an appreciation of agriculture with additional displays of enjoying farm life. It isn't so much they are doing these things. It is odd to how much of a stereotype they appear to be. Enjoying their occupation seems to encompass their daily life. Even the Corporate Goth who attempts to fight against the great levels of mediocrity is a greater stereotype of Corporate Employees.
The major sections of life, include: spirituality, fitness, career, friendship, social life, entertainment and education. Most people, not only Goths, agree a person should spend some time each week on one of these major sections of life with a personal activity.
There are also minor section of life in relation to each of the major sections of life. For example, a Gamer might limit their entertainment to gaming. A Regular Gamer plays one type of game on a regular basis for awhile. A Goth Gamer would seek higher echelons of gaming. They might obsess over Top Gamers, attempt to become a Professional Gamer, play every new game on the market or play multiple games in one category. I am a Regular Gamer. I play one game for a long time and then stop until finding another game. I want to have time for other parts of life, though attempting to compile all aspects of my life into one activity to serve all major sections of life.
It might be difficult to notice if someone is Gothic by looking at them. They might seem laid back or not even "look Gothic." The only oddity is being overly neat and clean. They might be overly stereotypical in their personal appearance. As you get to know them, they seem to be living a persona, yet it isn't a persona. It is their real life.
Exceptions to this engrossment in interests include Goths who have other interests or occupations that require a definite Goth Look. Some interests include gaming or writing. Some occupations include Business Owner, Disc Jockey or Stylist; wherein, their other job is part-time or on the weekends.
Usually it is easy to identify the Goth. They still wear more black than usual, yet this is not always true. There is also a tendency to stand out because their style does not conform to modern standards. Instead it is a reflection of deep interests and studies in relation to reading books and watching movies. Ergo, they exhibit older, international or both styles in appearance and home decorations. In fact this scenario is so common amongst Goths a Goth could be accused of, "... trying too hard," if not incorporating other aspects of life into their appearance without justifiable reasons.
All this information excludes people who make the stereotype happen. There are people in every avenue of life who embrace the stereotype and group identity with clothing and political statements. They usually defend their lifestyle whether Punk, Raver, Country and so-on. A Goth might wear the apparel, yet it is different and they do not conform to the group. Instead, there might be a tendency to wonder if they are really for real.
If you are listless, wondering why no one else seems to think you are Goth, though thinking you are Goth start becoming defensive about rude comments and overdoing whatever people complain about. Be overly suspicious of the people around you. Try turning your interests into an occupation. Maybe it is time to feel there is something missing in your life and take action to spiral out-of-control in the opposite direction. These are my theories of why there is a sense of community amongst so many people who do not really know each other.
Related Article
Extreme Goth
Importance of Popularity
Love of Pain
Winter Thaw
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