Goths have a reputation of being tyrannical. Several live in denial of this, yet there is an evolution of Gothic Culture involving blatant apathy. Even as a girl, I remember making rules about not dating anyone already in a relationship. Men would lie and say they are single, yet they were only making sure a relationship was possible and then dumping their girlfriend. One day it finally happened. I dated one of my friend's boyfriends. He likes me more is not a nice statement to anyone.
Learning about psychology, philosophy and other educational premisses that clarify the world, I have began to notice Goths are and are not hypocrites. Most of the time we speak in a language of inferred interpretations of words. This makes communication difficult. There are several occasions when Goths make themselves the exception to the rules.
One premiss that bothers me is the Popularity versus Extravert controversy. It is like Goths have no idea what they are saying. Popularity is in association with extroversion. It is a personality type, not how many times you got beaten up at school. The Goth ideal is Popular People engage in orgies, are above the law and beat up the Less Popular Kids. This is completely untrue. Popular People are Pollyannas who are friendly and talk to everyone. Popular People are frequently thought of as lackadaisical or adorable and would get into a car with anyone.
Any Goth will tell you everyone loves Goths. This is true until taking hurting people's feelings or blatantly dismissing them as a person. In Goth Culture, these subtleties make people try harder in competition. There is something about the demeanor that is commanding or educational.
I enjoy playing hardball. Hardball is a system of negotiation that involves a series of demands and eventual compromises that are acceptable to both parties. There are certain things in life I need in order to take me away from me other activities; ergo, a certain level of compensation agreed upon before I set aside time for other activities. Some dislike it when I play hardball, yet for fledgling Goths, I feel it is good to show them how it is done.
This is fine, yet the attitudes and methods of the Older Generation creates hardship for the Younger Generation. People are now aware a Gothic might say one thing and then do something different. While always seeming nice, it could be seen as a ploy to gain something without entitlements. Gothics have natural enemies for this reason.
Politics are about dispersing resources. We live in a world with limited resources. I believe the necessity of separating into separate groups through music, makeup and clothing is necessary for everyone to gain a home, employment, marriage and children. I frequently see Goths attempting to cross social boundaries.
It is understandable since Goths consider themselves as the Arbitrators of the world. They are thinking of making amends and building treaties. It would be great if everyone got along; however, when anyone crosses the line and takes something from someone's group. There is immediate retaliation. To think this retaliation will not happen is ignorant.
Unfortunately, though raised with similar values, the image of Goths fighting for the underdog has become the image of Entitled Aristocrats sponging off of the merit of other people's deeds.
This is the world we live in now and Gothic Culture is shifting. Cross-Cultures have become defensive and identify Goth Culture as a separate entity of people. After successfully blocking Goths as a group, many push Goths around and hope the Gothic never recovers. Whether guilty or innocent, Goths have shown they can be vipers taking other people's territory; ergo, there is an extreme lack of trust.
Every Goth about my age and younger is familiar with judgment based on appearance. People seem to know whatever a Goth is saying is probably inaccurate; whether they are aware of it or not. It has made a desperate situation.
Growing up, the activities of Goths is much different than what it is now. People as young as twelve or fourteen were establishing marriage arrangements. I was different. I wanted to explore life and hesitant to find a monogamous relationship. Even without planning my love life in advance, there were still rules about dating.
When finding a compatible relationship, we became monogamous. It was a simulation of marriage, so more like a courtship than dating. It was important to have a Significant Other (monogamous partner) when talking to people. People are more open to talk to people who are already in a relationship; however, there were some who were afraid of being alone. They would already know who they were leaving their Significant Other for before announcing the relationship was over. Everyone was happy eventually. This activity outside Gothic Culture is confusing to everyone.
Television news frightens me. No longer as active in the community, I worry about life. However, I also know the sensational stories about Goths and Scene Kids is inaccurate. I was drinking coffee at a Artist's Club that was owned by a Gay Couple. The news portrayed us as Lovers. We were just sitting in the background while they were reporting the story. We are not Lesbians. The club was adjacent to community housing for Artists.
I imagine the same thing is happening everywhere, yet there are signs people are attempting to make things they believe are true, true and that is very threatening. I do not like the idea of the Younger Generation being subjugated in this mannerism. Forcefully being made into a person that is not truly yourself is hostile. I never brought a gun to school, bullied kids in the hallways, slept with over fifty different people or engaged in a manag a twa. Though words will never hurt me, having to take extra defensive actions of how people might want to hurt me, hurts. Especially if they are successful. That is a lot of trauma for no reason.
I have said it before and will say it again, "Other people's opinions do not matter that much, especially if trying to make you do something against your beliefs."
Identifying one of my other least favorite saying that makes people harm themselves is, "Don't be a snitch." If someone is acting against you, tell people. It does not have to be an Authority Figure. Handling the situation yourself has consequences, yet if things are bleak talk about it. Ask people for help. Identify with friends. Friends also include people in other cultures who feel their own people are acting aggressively and without merit.
Everyone needs help sometime. Those who start defending their way-of-life early still have most of their rights. It is difficult standing up for yourself when it is for your personal interests. There is also the risk of becoming overly aggressive and gaining a reputation of being insane. There are probably several people with the same interests who also need protection, including, yourself.
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Showing posts with label gothic people. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gothic people. Show all posts
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Friday, February 15, 2013
Extreme Tendencies of Goths
Discussing "Extreme Goths" in a past blog, this blog contains extensive insights on this tendencies of Goths. Yes, Goths tend to appreciate extremes in their life, yet this extreme might only be in two or three arenas in their life. Personally, I experience extremes in the social arena. As a child, I hung out with a handful of people. As a teen and young adult, I hung out with large groups of people. As an adult, I have virtually no social life and enjoy being a homebody fulfilling the role of dispensing information to everyone who might benefit from my past experiences.
I am not the only person with this dramatic fluctuation in more than one part of my life. I have known people who call it "the Life of Riley." Abundance of everything for awhile and then nothing. Everything you would want money, friends and dominating social presence is followed by poverty, enemies and ostracism. This rebounds into any previously unknown direction that may or may not be in the same arenas of life.
In any instance, there are several Middle Class, Working Class Gentlemen and Ladies who have found peacefulness in the middle ground to cope with the over-encompassing excitement of being so out-of-balance in other aspects of life. I have respectfully good relationships with my family. I have ignored them on occasion, yet I respect my parents and have common stories everyone relates too. My Father is stoic. We talk about the weather and when he needs to tell me to do or stop doing something. My Mom and I talk about everything. She tells me about her life when she was young and I feel more comfortable talking to her. I know my Cousins and have a Cousin who might mess with my hair during a slight disagreement. We might rough house similarly as we did as children and then stand there in front of the rest of the family's disapproving gazes.
This compensates floating through life in aspects of career and friends. I don't really have close friends I would feel comfortable calling up and seeing how they are doing. I met several people years ago. Now it is awkward having known of them so many years, yet never sitting down and talking about general life and philosophies of life. Now it would be difficult for anyone to imagine me going to dance clubs, house parties or mingling with smaller groups of friends every day of the week.
Do I regret any experiences? No. I had close friends. I knew the extensively and spent most of my time chatting about everything. There were confessions of failings and realizing they are a different person than I thought. This is also true of them to me. Now I purposely keep people at an arms length while performing my static activity of dispensing advice to a larger audience with a friendly demeanor to let people know I care, yet feel an appropriate amount of distance or professionalism is worthwhile.
When can you tell someone is Goth rather than the Average Schmo? It might be difficult, yet there is an emanation of being a one-dimensional character, as opposed to a real person. I have known people who are attached to the appearance of Goth. Working at their normal corporate job as a Supervisor or Accountant, because of degrees and qualifications, they tend to wear full makeup and enjoy people looking at them oddly. Extreme exhibitionist characteristics are part of daily life.
Anther person might enjoy construction, assembly or farming. Conforming to clothing requirements they are not just a Construction, Assembly Laborer or Farmhand. They are everything you would expect this person to be. You would expect a Construction Worker to spend most time commenting on people's appearance. You would expect an Assembly Worker to frequent pubs. You would expect a Farmhand to exhibits an appreciation of agriculture with additional displays of enjoying farm life. It isn't so much they are doing these things. It is odd to how much of a stereotype they appear to be. Enjoying their occupation seems to encompass their daily life. Even the Corporate Goth who attempts to fight against the great levels of mediocrity is a greater stereotype of Corporate Employees.
The major sections of life, include: spirituality, fitness, career, friendship, social life, entertainment and education. Most people, not only Goths, agree a person should spend some time each week on one of these major sections of life with a personal activity.
There are also minor section of life in relation to each of the major sections of life. For example, a Gamer might limit their entertainment to gaming. A Regular Gamer plays one type of game on a regular basis for awhile. A Goth Gamer would seek higher echelons of gaming. They might obsess over Top Gamers, attempt to become a Professional Gamer, play every new game on the market or play multiple games in one category. I am a Regular Gamer. I play one game for a long time and then stop until finding another game. I want to have time for other parts of life, though attempting to compile all aspects of my life into one activity to serve all major sections of life.
It might be difficult to notice if someone is Gothic by looking at them. They might seem laid back or not even "look Gothic." The only oddity is being overly neat and clean. They might be overly stereotypical in their personal appearance. As you get to know them, they seem to be living a persona, yet it isn't a persona. It is their real life.
Exceptions to this engrossment in interests include Goths who have other interests or occupations that require a definite Goth Look. Some interests include gaming or writing. Some occupations include Business Owner, Disc Jockey or Stylist; wherein, their other job is part-time or on the weekends.
Usually it is easy to identify the Goth. They still wear more black than usual, yet this is not always true. There is also a tendency to stand out because their style does not conform to modern standards. Instead it is a reflection of deep interests and studies in relation to reading books and watching movies. Ergo, they exhibit older, international or both styles in appearance and home decorations. In fact this scenario is so common amongst Goths a Goth could be accused of, "... trying too hard," if not incorporating other aspects of life into their appearance without justifiable reasons.
All this information excludes people who make the stereotype happen. There are people in every avenue of life who embrace the stereotype and group identity with clothing and political statements. They usually defend their lifestyle whether Punk, Raver, Country and so-on. A Goth might wear the apparel, yet it is different and they do not conform to the group. Instead, there might be a tendency to wonder if they are really for real.
If you are listless, wondering why no one else seems to think you are Goth, though thinking you are Goth start becoming defensive about rude comments and overdoing whatever people complain about. Be overly suspicious of the people around you. Try turning your interests into an occupation. Maybe it is time to feel there is something missing in your life and take action to spiral out-of-control in the opposite direction. These are my theories of why there is a sense of community amongst so many people who do not really know each other.
Related Article
Extreme Goth
Importance of Popularity
Love of Pain
Winter Thaw
I am not the only person with this dramatic fluctuation in more than one part of my life. I have known people who call it "the Life of Riley." Abundance of everything for awhile and then nothing. Everything you would want money, friends and dominating social presence is followed by poverty, enemies and ostracism. This rebounds into any previously unknown direction that may or may not be in the same arenas of life.
In any instance, there are several Middle Class, Working Class Gentlemen and Ladies who have found peacefulness in the middle ground to cope with the over-encompassing excitement of being so out-of-balance in other aspects of life. I have respectfully good relationships with my family. I have ignored them on occasion, yet I respect my parents and have common stories everyone relates too. My Father is stoic. We talk about the weather and when he needs to tell me to do or stop doing something. My Mom and I talk about everything. She tells me about her life when she was young and I feel more comfortable talking to her. I know my Cousins and have a Cousin who might mess with my hair during a slight disagreement. We might rough house similarly as we did as children and then stand there in front of the rest of the family's disapproving gazes.
This compensates floating through life in aspects of career and friends. I don't really have close friends I would feel comfortable calling up and seeing how they are doing. I met several people years ago. Now it is awkward having known of them so many years, yet never sitting down and talking about general life and philosophies of life. Now it would be difficult for anyone to imagine me going to dance clubs, house parties or mingling with smaller groups of friends every day of the week.
Do I regret any experiences? No. I had close friends. I knew the extensively and spent most of my time chatting about everything. There were confessions of failings and realizing they are a different person than I thought. This is also true of them to me. Now I purposely keep people at an arms length while performing my static activity of dispensing advice to a larger audience with a friendly demeanor to let people know I care, yet feel an appropriate amount of distance or professionalism is worthwhile.
When can you tell someone is Goth rather than the Average Schmo? It might be difficult, yet there is an emanation of being a one-dimensional character, as opposed to a real person. I have known people who are attached to the appearance of Goth. Working at their normal corporate job as a Supervisor or Accountant, because of degrees and qualifications, they tend to wear full makeup and enjoy people looking at them oddly. Extreme exhibitionist characteristics are part of daily life.
Anther person might enjoy construction, assembly or farming. Conforming to clothing requirements they are not just a Construction, Assembly Laborer or Farmhand. They are everything you would expect this person to be. You would expect a Construction Worker to spend most time commenting on people's appearance. You would expect an Assembly Worker to frequent pubs. You would expect a Farmhand to exhibits an appreciation of agriculture with additional displays of enjoying farm life. It isn't so much they are doing these things. It is odd to how much of a stereotype they appear to be. Enjoying their occupation seems to encompass their daily life. Even the Corporate Goth who attempts to fight against the great levels of mediocrity is a greater stereotype of Corporate Employees.
The major sections of life, include: spirituality, fitness, career, friendship, social life, entertainment and education. Most people, not only Goths, agree a person should spend some time each week on one of these major sections of life with a personal activity.
There are also minor section of life in relation to each of the major sections of life. For example, a Gamer might limit their entertainment to gaming. A Regular Gamer plays one type of game on a regular basis for awhile. A Goth Gamer would seek higher echelons of gaming. They might obsess over Top Gamers, attempt to become a Professional Gamer, play every new game on the market or play multiple games in one category. I am a Regular Gamer. I play one game for a long time and then stop until finding another game. I want to have time for other parts of life, though attempting to compile all aspects of my life into one activity to serve all major sections of life.
It might be difficult to notice if someone is Gothic by looking at them. They might seem laid back or not even "look Gothic." The only oddity is being overly neat and clean. They might be overly stereotypical in their personal appearance. As you get to know them, they seem to be living a persona, yet it isn't a persona. It is their real life.
Exceptions to this engrossment in interests include Goths who have other interests or occupations that require a definite Goth Look. Some interests include gaming or writing. Some occupations include Business Owner, Disc Jockey or Stylist; wherein, their other job is part-time or on the weekends.
Usually it is easy to identify the Goth. They still wear more black than usual, yet this is not always true. There is also a tendency to stand out because their style does not conform to modern standards. Instead it is a reflection of deep interests and studies in relation to reading books and watching movies. Ergo, they exhibit older, international or both styles in appearance and home decorations. In fact this scenario is so common amongst Goths a Goth could be accused of, "... trying too hard," if not incorporating other aspects of life into their appearance without justifiable reasons.
All this information excludes people who make the stereotype happen. There are people in every avenue of life who embrace the stereotype and group identity with clothing and political statements. They usually defend their lifestyle whether Punk, Raver, Country and so-on. A Goth might wear the apparel, yet it is different and they do not conform to the group. Instead, there might be a tendency to wonder if they are really for real.
If you are listless, wondering why no one else seems to think you are Goth, though thinking you are Goth start becoming defensive about rude comments and overdoing whatever people complain about. Be overly suspicious of the people around you. Try turning your interests into an occupation. Maybe it is time to feel there is something missing in your life and take action to spiral out-of-control in the opposite direction. These are my theories of why there is a sense of community amongst so many people who do not really know each other.
Related Article
Extreme Goth
Importance of Popularity
Love of Pain
Winter Thaw
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