There is a difference between acceptable affection in the Goth Scene. This blog encompasses everyone who might refer to themselves as Goths. That includes: EMO, Rockers, Punks and Scene Kids. In my opinion EMO most closely represents the Original Goths who were called Post Punks or Dark Wavers.
Growing-up as a Goth, affectionate touching is platonic. It is difficult for various groups with various morals in the Goth Scene to understand everyone. I remember being friends with people and establishing we are only friends. To other people it looks romantic. Thinking about the past, a guy I went to school with was usually physically affectionate. It was normal to sit shoulder-to-shoulder, lean on each other or hold each other while talking. It was calming and understood it was a platonic snuggle.
This looks odd to other people. He broke up with his Girlfriend and wanted to date another Girl at the school, not realizing most everyone thought we date or should date. There is a chance our activity also effected how easily it would be for me to date someone else at the school.
Later on, it was not odd to receive casual massages from a Goth, while sitting around in public, yet most EMO learned to avoid embracing Non-EMO.
Hanging out with Rocker Friends, there was one person who was comfortable with receiving a massage and hug. We would sit around listening to music, yet anyone seeing this action was fairly this is a maneuver to try and date him. There was no mutual interest in dating, yet it still cause a cascade of problems with another Girl who did want to date him.
Later on I had a friend whose Punk Boyfriend thought I tried to start a threesome, because of tickling him. At this time, it became apparent physical interaction did not produce the right results.
Even in the Scene, another Scene Kid thought I wanted him. Not exactly sure what happened until they tried to kiss me. It was awkward and an unwelcome advance. In any event, it is probably time to realize physical affection is only appropriate with someone who understands affection similarly and amongst people who also understand massages and hugs are a method to comfort Friends.
Snuggle parties are fun. Rockers like to hit each other or braid hair. Punks might be active nudist. Any sexual activity when wandering nude is completely wrong. It is like invading their home with weird, pornographic ideals. Scene Kids have stylish pajama parties. There are experimental ideals to combine wearing stylish pajamas during parties with close friends and snuggle. Concept needs improvement.
Conduct is agreed upon by the group. When everyone is "Goth," it is sometimes difficult to know what type of Goth they are and what they believe is moral.
EMO follow rules of independence and making choices. Kenisthetic Learners have an orientation to bound with people through touch. There is also an informal maintenance of the pack through touch. Wild animals confirm goodwill by brushing each other cheeks. It is a type of cuddle. A handshake is affective, yet there is something nice about being able to hold someone.
It is possible to tell who is dating. I remember a couple who sat across from each other and never spoke. They had occasional small talk. They were obviously together for a long time. Talking to them, they dated for several years. To a certain degree, accept for a limply holding hands, most couples are less physically affectionate towards their Significant Other.
Rockers are possessive. It is better to be tacky and rude instead of appearing to be someone who is flirtatious or nice. There is appropriate hair grooming or pats on the back, yet there is an overly conscious need to confirm they are critical of Platonic Friends to establish there is no desire to be romantic with them. In addition, critical statements are a form of the cuddle behavior.
Punks have a form of misunderstood cultural norms. Several people agree nudity implies sexuality. It is not when a person is Punk. Even in current news, a large number of Punks host rain parties. They remove clothing after covering themselves in mud. Police stopped arrests in several States.
As part of the philosophy of reestablishing independence from an oppressive power, the removal of status symbols and clothing is an enlightening experience. Attempting to snuggle, though platonic is not acceptable. Even tickling could insight the assumption that there is an interest in romance. The friendly shoulder bump is adequate to display friendship.
Scene Kids have pajama parties. It is mostly a fashionable event, yet only people in couples receive invitations. There is an inordinate amount of flirtation and complimentary behavior. It is understood everyone goes home with the person they invite to the party. Any openly sexual behavior is not acceptable at the party.
Surprisingly, it is extremely important to be in a relationship with someone when around Scene Kids. I remember several occasions feeling more free to roam when people knew I was in a relationship and less comfortable to roam without having a Significant Other.
These activities cause confusion in each group. Some people attempt to take advantage of people's trust, because they do not understand the affectionate group activity. There is an awful consequence in each group that occurs when someone believes it is to start a romantic relationship.
EMO groups are paranoid about molestation. From their perspective, they snuggling someone while engaging in a private conversation and that is why they are alone with them. Knowing the conscious reality of not being in a romantic relationship, there will be no kissing. Trying to kiss them is a removal of trust and reason to suspect sexual abhorrence. This confuses a lot of people, yet it is true.
Rockers are jealous and violently protective of their Significant Other.
Punks dislike manipulation through the various ideals of the establishment. The assumption of morals and values because it is in reference to the establishment of societal rules has a long term impact on someone. Activities to determine loyalty to Oppressor is apparent with curious word phrasing and laughter for unknown amounts of time. They might might want to fight.
Scene Kids usually leave. They get forceful in avoiding someone. It involves gossip to evoke anger in other people who take action.
When crossing boundaries, there is friction between everyone. EMO Goths do not believe gossip. There is a need to assess gossip and validate if it is true. Scene Kids defend themselves with gossip. One rumor is people who talk to each other are the same. This makes it difficult to talk to a person and make an assessment. EMO need a method of police their group. Ergo, occasionally EMO and Scene Kids experience unresolvable conflicts.
These problems exist between all the groups. Though Non-Goths perceive everyone as being the same, this kind of mayhem makes me believe a firm separation between Goths might have benefits. With greater ideals of affection and intimacy between friends, there is also the burden of responsibility.
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